leave the door open

Whenever I come back from a trip abroad, I pin the leftover currency to my bulletin board. In a corner of my bookshelf I stack the coins and stash any transit passes that I might use again down the road. When I left for London last weekend, I had over 30 GBP in my wallet—money that was leftover from my 2013 birthday/research trip to Oxford. I had an Oyster card, too, which I hadn’t used since spending Xmas in London in 2012. Turns out it had 15 GBP on it and that got me around the city—to the Black Cultural Archives in Brixton, and back to the hotel after having high tea at Brown’s Hotel with my friend Mary. I walked a lot while I was in London and I spent a lot of time in the hotel. I came home with over 3000 words written on the new novel and think I can finish it before the end of this year. Everything in London felt easy and there was more than one moment when I realized I was happy! That sounds strange, but I’m so accustomed to being busy—and measuring my productivity—that I don’t always ask myself if I’m happy. A friend is having surgery next week and it’s a procedure that will close one of many doors in her life. We talked tonight about happiness and the importance of knowing what makes you happy; when the nightly news is grim and chronic health issues consume much of your energy, that’s the moment you need to make sure that there’s joy in your life. I’m heading out of town soon—again—and want to make sure that I try to enjoy myself while I’m away. I’ll be working but I’ll also be in a new place, meeting lots of new people. I love being alone, strolling through gardens, daydreaming about ghosts and castles. But if I want to find some joy in every day, then I have to let happiness happen when I may not expect it to appear. I still have money on my Oyster card and I came home with a twenty pound note. I don’t know when I’ll get back to London but it’s good to know the door will still be open…