the WisCon women!

Ok, now that I understand just what WisCon is, I realize just what I missed by not attending this year’s gathering.  Fortunately, Neesha Meminger posted *gorgeous* photos of the WisCon women on her blog, and so did Shveta Thakrar.  Also, Mary Anne Moharanj posted her guest of honor speech on her blog—make sure you read the whole thing!  This excerpt really jumped out at me, because the issue of motherhood and “natural” maternal instincts came up during my interview with Rita Williams-Garcia:

But what I found much harder in the end, what has been the hardest challenge of my life, is actually parenting. As it turns out, I hate babies. I didn’t love my daughter Kavya at first — I didn’t love her for months. She was a screaming, weeping, inexplicable mess that wouldn’t let me sleep and made me more than a little psychotic. I would get so angry during those first few months with her, it was all I could do to keep myself from shaking or hitting her — anything, if she would just please shut up. I’m not normally an angry person. I don’t have a lot of practice in fighting back rage. I found it tremendously hard not to resort to violence…

It got easier when she got older and I could talk to her, reason with her. I wasn’t nearly as tempted to hit. But I still had, and still have, a very hard time putting her needs first, ahead of my own desires. I had almost twenty years as an adult before I had her, twenty years of being the center of my own universe…

Moharanj concludes that “Doing the right thing, even when it’s hard and you don’t want to” is “a big part of heroism.”  I do sometimes feel that my mother-friends are heroic—precisely because they’re so often selfless, and it’s hard for me to imagine putting my needs—my writing!—behind the needs of someone else.  Some little person who may, in return, hand you a useless piece of lanyard and think that somehow equals all you’ve done for him or her…

Another WisCon woman—Nnedi Okorafor—had a disturbing experience prior to the conference…why do people think they can critique a book they haven’t even READ?!?!  Swing by her blog for all the details, and see Doret’s review of Nnedi’s new book, Who Fears Death, over at Color Online.

Ok, I meant to blog about Robin Hood and the fun PEN potluck I attended earlier this week, but that will have to wait for another post.  I’m still recovering from my half-day visit up in Harlem—super nice teachers, awesome students, but NO air-conditioning…and it is hot as heck in NYC today…enjoy the weekend!