who you are

I’ve been asked to write another article about self-publishing and I’m not sure I have anything left to say. I’ve got a couple of ideas around white women allies versus “frenemies,” which were strengthened by this article on white women’s silence around the Charleston church murders (allegedly carried out in their name). What if the white women who dominate the children’s literature community stood up and said, “I don’t want to be an excuse for racist violence in publishing/libraries/public schools/bookstores?” Imagine how transformative that would be! But you can’t change what’s in people’s hearts. The Confederate flag can come down, people can optimistically declare #LoveWins, and Black churches will still burn in the South. Black women and girls will continue to be brutalized by police. Transgender women of color will continue to be murdered. Chloe Angyal writes,

…the distinction between women and womanhood should not let individual white women off the hook for how we benefit from and participate in racism. That we are victims of sexism does not erase our culpability in American racism. If anything, the powerlessness we feel as a result of sexism too often urges us to hold on to, and exert over others, what remaining power we have. For white women, that means the power gifted to us by the color of our skin. Few white women resisted lynching in the early 20th century. A gendered and raced pedestal isn’t always comfortable to stand on, but it comes with a lot of perks and not a small amount of power. When contemporary black feminists critique white feminists for failing to recognize, interrogate, and cede their own racial privilege, that complaint is rooted in history. The bonds of sisterhood can be strong, but too often, they have been weakened by some sisters’ willingness to continue benefitting from whiteness (or worse, their stubborn refusal to recognize that they do).

Do I want to devote more of my time and energy to critiquing white women? Not really. I’m nearing the end of this new early reader, and I’ve got two fabulous women illustrators working on picture books. A friend posted a stunning photo on Facebook this morning that was paired with a quote from Brazilian dancer Ingrid Silva: “Let your craft be an authentic representation of who you are.” My books aren’t perfect, but they accurately reflect who I am and what I believe. Working with illustrators can be challenging because I’m not entirely comfortable telling people what to do. I know what I want, but I can’t make the art myself and I want to be respectful of the illustrator’s vision for the book. But these latest collaborations have been so empowering—my illustrator in Hong Kong actually thanks me for providing guidance! And look at her work—it’s amazing. Which makes me want to do ANOTHER book with her, and so I’m sifting through over a dozen manuscripts that are growing old on my hard drive. But I also need to write. So I’m trying to find that balance. Trying to be who I am and get my work done without being distracted by racism and others’ failure to take responsibility for their actions/inaction…

“Heavenly Angelic Snow” by Fung Ming Wong from my forthcoming picture book I Love Snow!