an ordinary life

This is my third day in Glasgow and I’ve had more sunshine on this visit than either of last year’s trips, I think. Got up late and went for a run in the Necropolis this morning; came home, cleaned up, and went grocery shopping. Passed GOMA along the way and thought about popping in to see the new exhibit but I spent yesterday at Pollok House and need a break today. I’m about to set a research agenda so I make the most of my three weeks but really, what I want is to live an ordinary life here. I lived in NYC for two decades and people always assume New Yorkers live exciting lives, but most of the time we’re doing laundry and commuting to work. For tourists it’s completely different—they pack in as much as they can and feel pressured to have fun every minute they’re in town. I don’t live like that when I’m at home and I don’t aspire to that when I’m on vacation. This isn’t a holiday; it’s a research trip but it’s also a way to test myself in the city. Can I build a routine like the one I have in Chicago? So far, the answer is YES. But should that be the goal? Escape to the Country just ended; all the UK shows I follow back home are airing in real time here in Glasgow. I just turned off the TV but now I’m catching up on yesterday’s episode of PBS Newshour. Maybe I should let go instead of trying to have a hybrid life and try being fully present.

I’m almost ready to write. Yesterday’s trip to Pollok House was more productive than expected. The website said the tours were fully booked but when I arrived just before noon, a tour was about to begin and I was the only one. My docent, Angus, was very helpful and the volunteer I met in the library pointed out the only work of fiction in the 7500-book collection—a collection of ghost stories! So that’s going in the book and the fairy garden was more of a hobbit village (Smaug included!) but on the way there I came across a ship…it’s a planter made from a bathtub, I think, but made me think of a slave ship so that’s going in the novel, too. I think I’ve got my plot worked out. I just need to develop my main character and to do that, I need to meet some local kids. Emailed an elementary school before I left Chicago; the headmistress hasn’t replied but I might just drop some of my books off on Monday. I saw a group of Black boys getting off the train yesterday but didn’t think it was appropriate to interrogate them. When I visited Edinburgh back in 2018, I presented at St. Augustine middle school and remember one boy from Ghana who proudly showed off his cowrie-shell bracelet. I’m basing my main character on that kid. There was a diverse group of students on a class trip yesterday—that’s the premise for my novel. Pollok House itself was fairly small and there was extensive water damage to the first-floor walls, which was strangely satisfying. I’m looking for ugliness, in a way. There’s a kind of glamour over these stately homes but I can’t fall under that spell. So many Black bodies were sacrificed for the paintings and vases and antiques that fill these mansions. Wrote about that last night; trying to write at least one poem per day. Daily poems are like my Instagram posts—they mostly document my days. I won’t necessarily remember how I’m thinking or feeling now by the time I get back to Chicago. This donation box was disturbing. I think the school kids focus on what it was like “below stairs” and they get to see the butler’s and housekeeper’s quarters in the basement. But choosing your own servant? And voting by donating spare change? Odd, to say the least…but these are the kind of contradictions that need to be exposed. My kid is being bullied by Gavin, a racist loner who gets sent back in time to one of the plantations owned by the Maxwell family. There was one plaque in the house that mentioned the wealth derived from plantations in Jamaica but no mention of St. Kitts-Nevis. So I need to probe that further; it could be that Maxwell got his SKN plantations (and compensation after Emancipation) through marriage to Miss Colhoun. Her father, a Scot, was a notorious slave trader and that particular Maxwell was working as an overseer so they got quite a surprise when 3 heirs died in a short span of time, turning that overseer into a very wealthy baronet. All the histories are about men but I think women will be central to my story. Dig, dig, dig…I’ve got work to do! But right now it’s time for a nap…