hobbit life

It’s time for Elevenses so I’ve put the kettle on and will drink my tea from a fancy cup while enjoying the last slice of banana bread. I canceled tomorrow morning’s appointment, which means I have a whole week without any online or in-person obligations (though I’m having my tarot cards read on Friday night by a friend in NYC). Yes, I have a novel to write and my To Do list is as long as ever, but I plan to live like a hobbit for the next few days: lots of indulgence, and tasty food, and rest. Last week was pretty awful; I was taking medication for migraines, sinus pain, and the worst cramps I’ve ever had. Got back from Toronto early Monday morning and immediately got to work on my toy theater. I had appointments every day of the week and then my fridge died on Saturday. Lucky for me, Lowe’s is delivering throughout the holiday weekend and my window this morning was from 8am to noon but I must have been their first stop. I went out for bags of ice last night but forgot to get some cash for the delivery guys so I went out again at 7am—and I’m glad I did because they definitely earned their tip today! I didn’t measure the new fridge—on the website it looked about the same size as my old one—so it didn’t fit in the pantry and the doors had to be removed even to get it through the building’s back gate. But it’s here now and I didn’t have to throw out too much food. I feel relaxed now—not exhausted or weary, just at ease. I wasn’t nervous about our final sharing for the puppetry residency; we met as a group last week and individually with the theater’s tech person this week. Then we did a run-through two hours before the online event and it was only when I signed off that my neck seized up, making it hard to turn my head. I was already on a bunch of medication so didn’t do anything besides some simple stretches. When I saw the physical therapist last week, I told him I was pretty sure my back pain and sciatica were at least partly stress-induced. The morning I left for Toronto, my back pain flared as soon as I got up at 4:30am when that usually only happens mid- or post-flight. He thinks I need to sync my muscles so I’ll work on that this summer, but I also need to process difficult emotions instead of holding them in my body. I’m working on a few poems about my time with family and that feels good—both to be writing again and to tell the truth about our complicated history. I had tea with my cousin the day I arrived and she gifted me some family heirlooms our grandmother had saved for her youngest sister Laura since she was the namesake of our great-grandmother Laura Eva Holman. That’s LEH as a child in the 1890s (left), and Bethany also gave me LEH’s scrapbook, which is full of cartes de visite and quirky poems and illustrations from Ladies Home Journal. Laura took her own life last year and since she had been shunned by some members of our family, Bethany decided not to attend the anniversary party of my uncle and aunt. I went and I can’t lie—it was wonderful to see so many familiar faces. I don’t go up to Canada very often so I tend to get a warm reception from my relatives—but not my siblings, who don’t speak to me. So I’m working on a poem about those two experiences of being embraced by some and shunned by others. I didn’t feel disloyal to Laura by going to the anniversary party but I need to say something about the unfairness of it all. Not sure I deserve to be trusted with these heirlooms but will do my best to use them to tell a complete, honest story of our family. Tomorrow I get my notes from the freelance editor who’s reviewing my latest poetry collection. Poet Ada Limón had some good advice on creating a book of poems—“identify your themes and then keep writing”—and that’s what I’ve done. I sent Cynthia two additional poems after the mass shootings last month but held onto the rest. Will fit them in and see what my trusted readers think about the collection before passing it on to my agent. She sent the graphic novel out last week and we’re still waiting to hear back from the editor who requested half a dozen picture book manuscripts. I’m not particularly hopeful but also know I can self-publish a few titles this year if I want. At yesterday’s JustKids Book Festival here in Chicago I gave a talk on community-based publishing; there were only 4 people in the audience so I went pretty fast so I could get off the stage and let the next guest on. But when my talk ended, several people came up to give me books, and take selfies, and ask for some advice on their own indie projects. Chicago teachers are already self-publishing their students’ work, which is wonderful. There’s a lot of innovation in this city…now that my residency is over, I’ll have to decide what my next steps will be when it comes to puppetry. Apply to an incubator? Take some more classes? I bet there are tutorials on YouTube that could show me how to turn my lovely doll into a hand puppet. I tidied the apartment but couldn’t bring myself to throw out one large cardboard box—so I have the materials I need if I decide to keep going with the toy theater. I will live my best hobbit life this week while also finishing up these poems and writing a thousand words a day so I meet my July deadline for The War of the Witches. It’s Juneteenth and Father’s Day; Amazon is doing a promotion of the Dragons in a Bag e-book so if you want a digital copy, get yours today for $1.99. Or don’t shop at all and use the holiday as it was intended—a time to gather with loved ones and appreciate our ancestors’ struggle for liberation!