homebody

In Chicago, I let myself stay at home every other day. It’s quite luxurious to stay in, knowing you have food in the fridge, a treadmill to walk on, and a book to read or show to binge. Here in France, I don’t think I’ve had a single day where I haven’t left the house! Sometimes it’s because I need various things but mostly it’s the pressure to “make the most” of my time here. But I *am* tired and right now it’s nearly noon and I’m still in my pajamas. They’re predicting a day of rain so my routine has been disrupted; normally I’d go for a power walk by the river and I’ve gotten soaked before, but not sure I feel up to it today.

I went to Paris on Friday—it was sort of a test run since I’m going back on Monday to meet two friends. I wanted to see Sainte Chapelle and there were no tickets available for Monday so I did that on my own. I walked there from Montparnasse train station but saw the exit for folks who need to call an Uber and that’s what I’ll be doing tomorrow. The plan is to meet Jasmine and her two kids at Notre Dame before heading to an African American soul food restaurant to meet Mariam. I just changed my return trip because I don’t mind reading for a while at the train station but on Friday I discovered that  Austerlitz is under construction so there’s nowhere to sit. Short day trips suit me best because this introvert can only handle so much stimulation! I took the TGV to Paris (75 minutes) but took the regular train home, which is 2.5 hours. It saves money and I can use the extra time to decompress.

My anxiety’s been pretty good over here, I think. I immediately tried to reestablish my usual routine—exercising every other day, reading for at least an hour a day, writing a poem a day. Then I added a French journal, which mostly just summarizes my day. I went out with some expats last week and met one yesterday for coffee; she then invited me to Xmas dinner so my social calendar is improving. The thing about my routine is that it’s designed for a homebody. I could live anywhere in the world and I’d still crave lots of alone time and a cozy home where I can hide away from the world. Artists often do live inside their heads a lot of the time but that lifestyle isn’t going to help me improve my French. Neither is hanging out only with American expats, though it’s a relief to speak fluently once in a while. The past couple of days I got absorbed by a new Scottish crime drama on Netflix; an English-language program is a guilty pleasure because I’ve only allowed myself to watch French shows (with English subtitles). My last private lesson was on Friday and I’m not sure what I’ll do next to improve my French. A friend recommended a podcast for intermediate learners and it’s really good; the host offers an online course so I could give that a try. But that doesn’t get me out of the house and into the world…

For the holidays, I think I’ll just keep playing Xmas carols and let myself do whatever feels good. There’s a certain stress you carry in your body when you step outside of your comfort zone, which might explain my fatigue. The witchy influencers I follow on Instagram have been sharing ways to honor the winter solstice. Last night I made my list of 13 intentions and I’m supposed to burn one over the next 12 nights but I don’t have matches! So maybe that will be my outing for today…or I could bury them instead in my little potted Xmas tree…be flexible! that’s the key to successful travel, I think. However you celebrate, Happy Holidays!