yinzers

Menopause brain was in full effect this weekend! The poor waitress had to follow me outside because I pocketed my copy of the receipt for brunch and then, before leaving, picked up the merchant’s copy as well. When presenting I rambled a lot, and lost my train of thought, and blurted out remarks that didn’t match the moment. When I pulled my hair back on Sunday, I saw a lot more white hairs and figured folks at the restaurant would think I was Noa’s mom, though in this picture we look more like sisters. Brunch on Sunday was the first time we met, though our book came out in the summer of 2020. Hopefully she’ll be invited to future festivals since she’s a Pittsburgh native and one of the few Black woman illustrators working in kid lit today. Kate’s Book Bash was great and Pittsburgh was uncharacteristically sunny after a few showers Saturday morning. I pushed my introvert self to socialize more than I normally would and it was good to connect with old friends and to meet some new authors. I led a writing workshop for members of the regional SCBWI and then manned my table for another couple of hours before heading downtown to the Xmas market. I haven’t got a tree yet but I picked up some more ornaments and spent the evening at the B&B debating whether or not America is in decline. Believe it or not, I don’t think it is…we have some intractable issues, sure, but I don’t think folks here understand what it’s like to live anywhere else in the world right now. Even wealthy European nations are struggling with skyrocketing energy costs and inflation is so high that many sectors are striking over the holidays just to earn a living wage. Yes, Trump damaged our institutions and the population is extremely divided, but the US is still a powerful, wealthy, energy-independent nation. We produce most of the food we need, and our economy is still generating hundreds of thousands of jobs despite rumors of an impending recession. The midterms prove that even conservatives are turning away from the right-wing nut jobs trying to destroy democracy. I look at what’s happening in the UK and I think twice about moving over there. Even with the pressure of having to select a new healthcare plan in the next week or two, I recognize that being a full-time Black feminist writer probably wouldn’t be possible in Scotland or Canada or New Zealand. I’d have free healthcare in all those countries, but I’d have to sacrifice a lot of other things—including financial independence. I just got an offer to do a big school presentation in Canada and they’re offering less than a third of my usual rate. I offer a sliding scale for Title I schools but that isn’t the case here—authors simply aren’t valued in the same way up there. As hard as I have to hustle down here, at least there’s some kind of payoff…and I have the support of a small but determined community of Black writers. Would I be willing to give that up? No. Could I build a comparable future/community in another country? I think it would be very difficult and I don’t have the same outrage that motivated me to speak out and self-publish over a decade ago. Purple is making great progress on CHICKEN WONDERS WHY and we’re almost done with the first sketch for BLUE BOY. I think I’m going to self-publish more books in 2023; we haven’t sold any of the projects my agent sent out this year, which means all that material is just sitting on my computer. MOONWALKING made another year-end list today: Kirkus Reviews’ Best Middle-Grade Books. But even if it manages to win an award in January, I don’t think that will significantly alter my prospects. And yet…I still have hope! Before turning in on Saturday night, I asked my fellow debaters to share something that made them feel hopeful about the US. I gave the answer I always give: “This is a nation of dreamers.” As bad as things get sometimes, we never stop imagining a better way forward…